Sep 5.

9/5/2025 8:16. Correspondence 21

Sick and sad. Nauseous in many ways. I did not do good on one of my assignments, and although it shouldn't, it feels like the end of the world. I haven't felt like doing anything all day because I have felt so icky physically, and now my mental self reflects. My shortcomings were entirely caused by spelling and grammar mistakes. That is not an exaggeration. Two to three points were taken off per misspelled word or grammatical error. My writing and content thereof were fine. I studied and practiced thoroughly. I understand the rules and conventions of how I should write it, but I slipped supremely on simple "careless" errors. It saddens me so deeply because they were not careless. I cared a lot. I tried to make it the best I could, and I fixed so many things I caught. I suppose it is a testament to my shortcomings in catching numerous errors, yet still not enough. 

It's not carlessness, it's not laziness or apathy.

I wish it were. I could fix those problems so easily in comparison. It hurts my soul for someone to take away carlessness from my writing. I feel like it is so contrary to everything I attempt to convey. 

I don't know. I don't feel like writing more tonight. 

I suppose this marks an important event, the first of most likely many disappointments during my time here. I say that not to throw myself a pity party or to try to say everything here is missory. I acknowledge it to help remind myself that days will move on and there will be many, many ups and downs. 

I did what I could.

I do what I can.

And I will continue to do what I can

That's all I can do, I suppose. 

Goodnight,

Calvin Landreth