Apr. 27

4/27/2026 10:38 Correspondence 220 

Well, guys, it's official. I am the "Best Looking Financing Team Member," or so says the paper plate award I got at this school year's last fencing meeting. 

Remember last week when I said I am not sentimental yet. Well, I'm getting there.

 I had my last class today. Last class of the semester. Last class as a freshman. I still have 4 finals to finish, so I am stuck here till the 6th, but still. Last class. It's big. Or it just feels big. I don't know. 

I will be frank, I am a little afraid of tomorrow. Of what I will do, should do, can do. I have been living on this schedule for nearly every week for the past 220 days. And now I'm going to wake up tomorrow to an empty calendar. Not truly empty, of course. I have so much work to do for the finals. But it feels empty. It feels free, but in an empty way. In a confused way. I feel the walls around me so acutely. I feel the height of being up on the sixth floor in a way I haven't before. It's a queasy feeling—one of constant familiarity and leaving. The feeling is not sadness, it's fear. Fear of what comes next. Fear of stepping off the boat. I have grown so used to these walls, this view, the building. I've grown so safe in my scedral. And I am about to have to do it all again. To up and leave and call a new place home next semester. It's scary. 

At least I have the warm-toned freedom of summer as a buffer. And a camera too. It's not all bad.

 Goodnight, friends, 

Calvin Landreth