Aug 18.

8/18/2025 9:27. Correspondence 3

Yippe Ki-yay, how do you do? Me? Oh, I had a wild night. This is the day before classes start. I am admittedly terrified. That fear is nothing compared to social anxiety and fear. So yeah, I went to the First Night Carolina. Stood on the horseshoe trying not to look uncomfortable. I feel a deep connection with John Wilson in moments like this. A personal hero of mine. In episode 1 of his wonderful show, How To With John Wilson, he takes a trip to Cancún during MTV's spring break event. He ends up standing in the middle of a dance party, and after a while, the producers ask him to leave because he looks so uncomfortable and out of place. That is me. That is I. I was standing alone in a sea of people, a tiny camera in my hand, trying to fit in. 

I got called gay. In a way that was meaner than just being called gay. So here's what happened. I was standing in the crowd, adrift and isolated (see paragraph above). A couple of guys who looked like they went to college for things not related to education start to move closer to me.  One of them gets my attention and is like, "My dude here is super into, he wants your snap." Now I would be more than flattered if this were genuine, but it may surprise you to hear that it was anything but. The friend he was referring to started to stammer and protest. The original guy cut him off with the wonderful, masterfully created burn, "Oh, don't worry, he's gay too". Man, what a genius. It got both the friend and me. What a josher. I hope he is an English major with that display of efficiency in language. About 7 minutes later, they called me again, but it was way less creative. 

We sandstormed, we jumped, he screamed, and then we walked away from the stage to Greene Street. There were a bunch of food trucks set up, a DJ playing, and enough people to make a small army. Remember Judy? I remember Judy. So I was really confused when I heard a "Hey, were you at skits?" I stop my directionless wandering around and see Judy. I look at her and respond with a confused yes. And they proceeded to give me near-exact lines about recognizing me from schooter thomas and how I was really good. I freeze. My mind starts to race to try to find answers: did I slip into an alternate universe last night where we never met yesterday?, Does she not remember meeting me?, Is this a very badly planned Trueman Show or Groundhog Day? The look on my face must have been one she had seen many times. "Oh, I have a twin here". The rips in spacetime were quickly repaired with logic.  

Mosying still after that wonderful interaction, I run into my old robotics pals and another familiar face. Let's call her Nina. I knew her well from my home high school. We end up talking, and she asks if we could do room tours. So I regret to inform you, Dad, that's the story of how I left before the First Night Carolina Fireworks. Well, as we walk back to the honors dorm where our rooms both reside, we start catching up. She tells me about all the drama from our graduating class that I've missed. There is a lot, apparently. Arrests and cheating and bad blood and drugs, and drinking. Oh My! We make it to my room, and she thankfully doesn't make me play my accordion, like the groups that came by last night at 10. After a while, she showed me her room. It was very nice, lots of pastel decorations. We chatted more about this and that. Have you noticed how dull I've been in the last few sentences? I apologize for that reader. I'm procrastinating. You see. Nina is a bit of a partier herself. And you see, I saw a bit of that first had. I'm not exactly sure what I should say. Let's say I had my first-ever experience staring down the barrel of a sawed-off. I myself didn't partake at all. Although she did very kindly explain all the steps and indulged my curiosity. I probably experienced a lot more party than I would have if I stayed for the fireworks. 

I promised myself I would go shorter today. My goal is to be in bed by 11. It's 10:25 now. Got an 8:30 tomorrow and plan to wake at 7. Can't wait to tell you all about it in the next exciting instalment of

 CALVINS COLLAGE CORRESPONDENCE!

Best wishes,

Calvin Landreth