Aug 16.

8/16/2025 9:50. Correspondence 1

Well, it's finally the day. The day I exist in my space, thus becoming solely responsible for every action I take next. I'm not going to lie, I'm a tad upset writing this. Because of the emotional weight and reality of my situation? Because of the literal and symbolic change in nearly every aspect of my life. Because I know things will never be the same? Nahhhhhh. Not quite yet. That will probably hit me when I scramble up the sorry excuse of a ladder my lofted bed is on. No, I'm upset because the super cool new lights I got for my super cool new lamps will not connect to the wifi. I probably won't be able to use them. It's a true tragedy. I spent an hour working on it, but alas, I just don't think it's meant to be. They were really cool, too. They had this steampunk mode that I think would have complemented and completed the Victorian manor thing I kinda got going on. Oh, what a tragedy. A lot about lights- I know- but please indulge me. If I stop being sad about some silly LEDs, then I will be consumed by sadness about much more significant things. Let me say this. I love my family. So much. No bones about it. Everyone did so much for me; they were so patient with me, and indulged all my campy theatrics. I can not think of another father who would struggle and strain with their son to lug an absolutely ridiculous and ugly couch up 6, yes SIX, flights of stairs. It was a magical moment where that connection and bond and moment will be looked upon so incredibly fondly many moons from now, even if I felt as if like I was going to pass out and my arms dragged behind every other part of me. I love that guy. And I also absolutely love my sister and mom, too. Thank you all for everything you have done for me. Everything that got me here. I sit here now, looking out my window at a marvelous view (see below) and I am just utterly struck with the kindnesses and privileges that have enabled me to sit here. It's a strange feeling...

My RA is a lovely man. Seems to have a kind heart and a laid-back demeanor. Met a handful of my neighbors in said meeting. By met I mean I made a slight fool of myself when I briskly walked into the group 5 minutes late after accidentally sitting with side A of the hall. I'm side B. It's alright though. In a lot of faces, I recognized my own. A face displaying a mix of awkwardness, sadness, confusion, excitement, and curiosity. A lot of biochem majors. That's cool. Wonder if I could ever get someone to make me, I don't know, Spiderman web fluid or a Humoncules. My dad many many many times told me to be careful what I write here and to be kind and considerate. I fully intend to be, and I hope to never slip into punching down. I am still, though, in my hopes and heart, a journalist and will report facts and truths. What is a fact is that my suite mates (very nice guys as far as I can tell) did ask the RA about 7 minutes into the meeting (that started at 7:30) that they had to go because they had dinner reservations at 7:50. I'm very curious where they went. If I ever gain the courage, I will knock on that bathroom door and ask. I both hope and fear that I will forever be Yo-Yo man to them. We will see. At least it's not Yo-Yo boy. I did send a chat to the Snap Floor group chat asking for superglue or hot glue for my adorable bird lamp that took a plunge and broke in two. After a bit of a stressful exchange, a nice neighbor offered a very small amount of superglue.  It was perfect. Fixed the bird. Now if only I could fix the lightbulbs. Man. Don't get me started. 

This is all still very new to me, and an idea that maybe I'm jumping headfirst into. There are no true rules I have for myself other than I have to post something about the day every college night. Some might be long, some might be short. Some happy, some sad, probably a mix of it all. I sit here now, still looking up from this laptop at the view, and I am still weighed down by the sheer luck it is that I'm here. I'm lucky to have this room, this view, this computer and desk, the opportunity to get an education. I'm so lucky. Thank you again to the ones who helped give me some of that luck. I suppose I should wrap up now. I should climb that wobbly "ladder" and get cozy and get deeply sad. Murder She Wrote plays here beside me. A fitting aspect of comfort in this wild and unfamiliar space. I have a year to make it familiar. 

Good night,

Calvin Landreth