Dispatch 0

7/14/2025 10:22. Correspondence 0 

Ahoy. It's Calvin Landreth. I am at college now. How do you do? Hopefully well. I am going to college. I apologize for sounding like a robot. I'm just bad with introductions, and I'm not quite sure even still how I want to do this. I assume if all goes well, this will be on my website. If you are reading this to begin with, it must be – right? Anyhoo, I'm Calvin Landreth, and I'm going to college. I plan to write every day. A journal of sorts, a blog of even more sorts. Every Monday through Friday, I plan to sit down and write about my day, my life, my brain, my thoughts. I am just going to see where it takes me. Now I'm probably writing this all kinda again in correspondence 1, I will see how that goes, but I wanted to give this project a little runway. Right now, this very moment, I am in orientation. USC orientation. I should probably mention I mi at the University of South Carolina. So let's get into it. How has orientation been, I hear you figuratively asking, and I'm thinking. In truth, not as bad as I thought. I tend to be a social cynic. An eternal optimist about most things, but a massive critic of things like this. Maybe it’s a fear of not belonging and fitting in, so I overanalyze everything. Maybe... I digress. After an incurably early wake-up at DJ Paradice. We then drove to the garden gates. My dad, the wonderful man he is, came with me. I will be forever grateful. My adventure started as all great things do, with a massive line. That transitioned into an “opportunity fair,” then to a presentation, then small groups and lunch and college visits and more presentations and dinner and more small groups and different small groups, then gamecocks after dark. I will save you from the step-by-step nature of the day and focus to the stand-out points. Let's begin with the small group. Oh boy, that small group. You would not believe the size of this group. Let's just say we all got shrunk down to be the size of an ant. About 20 people squeezed into a social bond with a group leader who seemed to not want to be there. I really liked her nonetheless, shout out stove top. But it all just felt like trying to force a fire out of rain. I ended up falling in with two girls from my group who invited me to sit with them at lunch. A kind gesture, maybe brought upon by my sitting alone in a crowded cafeteria. I thanked them for their kindness and sat with my Chick-fil-A side salad. I quickly realized that maybe my world view and theirs would not align. They started to talk about where they were from, New Jersey and Texas, respectively, and started to make massive generalizations of cities and urban areas, lots of subtle racism sprinkled in. When lunch was done, I made my way and didn’t really talk to them again. I felt very lost in the morning, very alone, helped only slightly by my dad's presents. Crows make me lonely, and I never seem to fit in. It does seem that I may be the common denominator on that comment, but hey, shut up. I do want to talk about Baiz. I'm sorry, Baiz, but I realize I have no idea how to spell your name. Baiz is someone I have been doing a bad job of texting over the summer. They seemed neat on the roommate selection. I sent them a message, and we have become friends. I say bad at texting because I'm bad at texting, bad at nurturing relationships and friendships over text. I'm working it. But I ended up meeting Baiz about midway through my day. He was a welcome change of pace. We went up to this honors college social event, and while there met someone named Bianca. To be frank, that’s the most comfortable I felt all day was with them, idly chatting before the event started. Cool people. Met them again throughout orientation and had a lovely meeting all together in the LGBTQ group that night. Not many in there, I will say. A sad amount, I will say. But hey. What do you expect? I also want to relay an observation I had about that room. They were all primarily from South Carolina. A fact that somewhat saddens me, because almost everyone else I met today was from not South Carolina. The implication to me reads that if you are coming to the University of South Carolina from out of state, you somewhat know and subscribe to the reputation that precedes it. Maybe I'm wrong in that observation and hypothesis. Hopefully I'm wrong. I also want to mention that I felt very out of place in that meeting. Not because I judged anyone or was uncomfortable or anything. I just felt a little removed from everyone's Favret songs and references. Throughout this day, I was reminded of the song Nowhere Man by the Beatles. It's basically been on repeat. Especially when I got lost walking back to the orientation dorms after playing board games with Thomas, Masson, and some others. We played Clue, and I longed for something more. That sounds almost sexual. It's not. More an expression of ennui. Cut to after the clue, I was walking, trying to get to the dorm. Realized way too late that I was going in the completely wrong direction. It gave me time to think. Gave me time to reflect and be in my body. It's moments like that that I seem to feel the most like myself. Kinda. Maybe it’s the moments with Val or my family. Hard to say and harder to convey what I mean. Standing alone in the dark in the middle of an empty college campus courtyard filled me with loneliness and excitement. That’s what I'm trying to say. Maybe. Kinda. I realize this correspondence may not be the funnest to read and may go all topsy turvy at times. It is so truly an expression of my mind and nothing else more or less. Although I do hope to become a better writer through this project and my time at college. I made it to the dorm, by the way. I had not met my roommate yet. When I checked in and dropped my bags, he was not in yet, so I left a note. It said this “Hi. Your roommate is calvin Landreth. Let's try to meet throughout the day.” Written in chicken scratch on a ripped-out piece of the 1rst year student booklet we were given. I walked to my room, having an awkward exchange on the elevator, like I even need to say that about an elevator, and got to room 737. I gave a knock and scanned my key card, and walked in. To my disappointment, all I meet is my roommate's bag. Reading the tag on the bag, it says Noah, addressed in New Jersey, “Hey, I have some family in New Jersey,” says calvin to the 10 people he met from New Jersey today. I said the same line to the bag, and disappointingly, I was not met with a response. I turn from the bag and start to make my bed and prepare for a soapless shower when the door opens and two people walk in. Exchanging in some simple pleasantries, one of them leaves and wishes us a good night. Now it's just me and Noah. Naoh is nice. He is right behind me, sure hope he is not reading this. Oh alas. Noah seems to be Noah. And after leaving a few times to get ice and water and talk to friends, he is here. To stay. And sleep. And now I guess that’s what I will do. Sleep in the same room as Noah. It will be fine. Noah is nice. This is incredibly awkward. That is all for now. Oh, wish me a good night, will you?

Thank you.

   Calvin Landreth